


photograph

by angelsprunch



Series: losers analysis [4]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Other, i don't know what tags to put tbh, i'm going to do another one for him i think, this isn't the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 01:58:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12717381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsprunch/pseuds/angelsprunch
Summary: mike has photographs of the losers that he wants to remember. he finally remembers when he calls them all back.





	photograph

Sometimes Mike wished he could just forget. Sure, he had forgotten most of it for a while and those days he was living in a blissful ignorance. Once all of his friends finally fled from Derry, Mike seemed to have forgotten it all. There was a scar on his hand that he didn’t remember getting, but Mike assumed that it came from working on the farm for so long. Sometimes a large bird would fly nearby and his heart would stop, but Mike couldn’t ever figure out why. Eventually he brushed it off as a simple phobia. After his friends left, Mike would walk past the quarry and feel something tug at his heart. He’d walk past certain houses and smile because the sight of certain homes in Derry just seemed to bring a smile to his face. It didn’t make a lot of sense to Mike, but he clung to whatever pieces of happiness he could have.

There was a photo on his corkboard in his room and it had polaroids of the losers, faces he thought he should remember. There was one picture of all seven of them together and sometimes Mike stares at it in an attempt to bring back the memories of those days, but nothing comes. His heart swells with a bittersweet feeling, but Mike just focused on the happiness that came with looking at all the smiling faces. It wasn’t until he got older that something jarred all the memories back into place. Mike heard about the case of Adrian Mellon and he had to sit down as he realized why the story filled him with so much fear.

Mike heard the crack of a boy’s neck as he fell down the well and he blinked rapidly as he scanned the library before realizing the sound was only in his head. Henry Bowers was deplorable, but Mike hadn’t wanted to kill him. Mike hated the idea of taking any lives. When he was that young, he couldn’t even kill the animals on the farm. Afterwards, he still had a hard time but his encounter with It had hardened him. He felt as if he had seen some of the worst parts of the world and that maybe some of it rubbed off on him. No, he hadn’t wanted to kill Henry. As the memory slowly came back to him he began to understand some of the nightmares he would have. Hands shaking as he stood over bodies with broken limbs.

After he made the phone calls, Mike thought that would be it. The worst was over and he thought he could relax. Or, try to relax. First he had called Stan and Mike thought that something sounded off, but what did he know? At one point in his life he had been in love with Stanley Uris and could pinpoint any change in his mood, no matter how small. It had been years, though, and Mike realized that he hardly knew the man anymore. Mike didn’t know what Stan was up to or what kind of a life he was living. Still, Mike felt bad for disrupting it.

Richie had been next and when Richie answered the phone, Mike recognized the voice as one that he had heard on the radio before. One time when Mike traveled outside of Derry he had gotten that station. It hadn’t occurred to Mike why he was leaving Derry to get some more history until today, but Richie’s voice seemed to remind him. He had been trying to find out more about the monster in the sewers. While Mike hadn’t recognized the voice through his radio, he now believed that it helped guide him on part of his journey of learning about that clown. Hopefully Richie would still be able to crack jokes after they faced It again.

Ben sounded tired when he called. At first, Mike thought he had the wrong number so he confirmed that he was, in fact, speaking to Ben Hanscom. Once that was squared away he was quick about explaining what had happened to Ben. He seemed to understand the situation pretty easily and Mike knew that he’d be seeing his friend. As he talked to Ben, Mike began to wonder how much his friends had changed over the years. It was ridiculous to believe that everyone would stay the same as they had as teenager, but how much of his friends had he lost to time?

Eddie was panicked and Mike figured it was safe to assume that it was more than just the new situation that had the boy panicked. There was a voice in the background and for a moment Mike wondered if they were all kids again and Eddie’s mom was asking who he was talking to from the other room. Talking to Eddie took longer because he had to keep repeating himself. Whether it was the other voice distracting Eddie or his own sharp breaths was something that Mike didn’t have an answer for. Still, he was patient with his friend and he waited for him to say he was going to come back before he told Eddie that he had to call the others. Before saying goodbye, he wondered if Eddie ever really found happiness after the events in the sewers. Did any of them?

This time Mike thought he really did call the wrong number. Beverly Marsh was now Beverly Rogan and it took Mike a moment to realize that she had gotten married. From the way she was whispering into the receiver, Mike knew it was safe to assume that the marriage wasn’t a good one. He found himself worrying about his friend and wondering if she ever found a safe situation, a safe place to call home. She promised to come back and that was when Mike heard shouting on the other end. His heart jumped into his throat and Mike knew that despite the worry he felt for his friend, this was nothing compared to all of the emotions they would feel reunited. He hoped that Beverly would make it here safely.

Bill was the last one that Mike called and as he dialed the phone, he wondered why he wasn’t the first. Maybe Bill should be the one making these phone calls. Bill had led them into the sewers the first time, all of this had been Bill’s idea. Yet, Mike held no resentment towards the boy with a stutter as he informed him of the events that were taking place in Derry. Bill may have been the leader, but by staying behind Mike knew that he would be taking on this role. Bill had the most questions, but he seemed to understand everything the first time that Mike explained it. Once all was done, he promised that he would take the next flight over and Mike knew that he’d hold true to his word. They would all be reunited and Mike could only hope that the body count would be lower this time. He didn’t want to be responsible for another death.

Except, when they all arrived Mike realized that he was. Or, he blamed himself. Stanley Uris hadn’t come back to Derry. He had taken a bath and that was the last thing that Stan would ever do. The other losers seemed to ignore the lingering topic and push through the awkward silence when Stan’s seat remained empty. No one wanted to talk about it because they knew that any one them could be next. No one would talk about how close their demise was. Mike would blame himself, though. He blamed himself for Stan’s death because maybe if he never called, Stan wouldn’t have left. How many other people would have died instead, though? Was it worth it? Mike thought it may be worth it because he wouldn’t have been responsible.

The clown haunted Mike with Stan’s head and it brought in new feelings of guilt. This was his fault. It had Stan and It was going to take them all. Fear clutched his heart and Mike almost wanted to tell them all to go back home. Almost, but he didn’t. He helped them all figure out what they needed to do and he was going to help them defeat this clown. He was going to make sure that all of his friends made it home safely. Except, they didn’t. It took Eddie in the sewers and it took Audra’s sanity. Audra wasn’t one of them, but she was only here because of Bill. Bill was only here because of a phone call from Mike. Richie seemed to have lost a piece of himself as well when Eddie was left behind in the sewers.

They defeated It, but at what cost?

Eventually, it all became photographs for him once again.

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like this is my worst fic so i’m going to try and do another mike centric fic when i get an idea!


End file.
